roller coasters

Have you ever felt like your life is a roller coaster? Like sometimes all you can do is hold on and hope for the best? I have felt that way in the past, and God has always brought me through the scary parts. This past week I've felt more of the loops and curves of an amusement park ride than ever before in my life. I'm always positive in this blog, for several reasons: 1) I'm a truly optimistic person 2) I've had so many wonderful experiences here that I want to share and 3) The lighthearted adventures make for the best reading. But today, I'm going to be totally real. 100% honest about all I've been dealing with this week--the good, the bad, and the funny. It's more for myself than anyone else, because I need to keep processing what all has happened.

Here's a list of things that have happened in the last week(for better or worse). I'll start with my last post:

Sunday: Went cliff jumping. It was an exhilarating, unforgettable experience.

Tuesday: I was driving to church, and felt a cockroach crawl across my toes in the car. I looked down, and had a minor heart attack as I watched it skitter around the floor mat. Soooo disgusting! It was all I could do just to put the car in park. I jumped out of the car and caused a huge scene while directing puzzled drivers around me. After shaking out the mats and applying bug spray, I think we have it under control. But I never did find the offending bug.

Wednesday: Met a guy and girl that live here on Lanai, and played games at their house.

Thursday: Woke up to the news that the girl I had just met committed suicide overnight. Yes, suicide. To say Thursday was a horrible and emotional day would be an understatement. Probably one of the hardest days of my life. I'd write more about it, but I don't have the energy or the words.

Friday: Still dealing with the reality of suicide, I got up early to take a weekend trip with Brooke, Kelsey, and my supervisors. Set foot on four islands in one day. Took the ferry from Lanai to Maui, took a plane from Maui to Oahu, and took another plane from Oahu to the Big Island (Hilo).

Saturday: While shopping at the Hilo farmers market, we heard a woman crying for help a few feet from us. We rushed to assist her as she supported a man slumped over in a chair. He looked as though he was having a heart attack. Lots of scary physical symptoms that I won't go into, but it was very serious. At one point, I thought he was dead in the chair. We called 911 and helped as he was loaded on to the ambulance, but my gut tells me he didn't make it. I don't even know what to say about that either.

Sunday: Visited Volcano national park and saw an active volcano crater with its vents and smoke plumes. We walked through a lava-formed cave, visited a glassblowing studio, and tasted vino at a winery.

Monday: Got up early to catch a direct flight to Maui, and took the ferry home to Lanai.

I'm still a bit numb from the twists and turns of last week. I'm trying to hear God's voice in all this, because I know He's there and He has a plan for me--as much as he had a plan for the girl who died or the man in the farmer's market. Seeing the plan is the hard part right now. If life is a roller coaster, then I'm holding on for dear life! I'm trusting in God's voice, even though I can't always hear it. And I'm taking one day at a time.